I Listened To Joe West’s Country Album So You Don’t Have To

Over the course of the last 40 years, no player, manager or umpire has appeared on an MLB field more than umpire Joe West. He has 5,310 games (and a noticeably large belly) under his belt, which makes West the second most active umpire in the history of the sport. Bill Klem (5,375 games) is the current record holder, and West will likely pass him in the 2021 season. Yet, his long tenure is not necessarily a good thing. In 2007, he was the most consistent umpire in MLB, according to Hardball Times; however, in 2011, West received 41% of the vote for the worst umpire in a players poll, and in 2018 he had the second-worst percentage of bad calls. So this begs the question, should West stick to his day job?

No. God, no.

West’s “day job” is as Cowboy Joe, a country singer-songwriter with two albums. Lucky for you, I listened to both of them just so you don’t have to. For free. On my own time.

His debut album, “Blue Cowboy,” was released in 1987 and included three original songs and five covers. The covers included classics such as “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” and everyone’s favorite, “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys.” But West’s most notable song on the album is the title track, “Blue Cowboy.”

The song starts with a strong, sensual country fiddle, and just seconds later West chimes in with a boppin banjo and a deep southern drawl. Admittedly, West’s voice may be better than his eye; and his lyrics: downright gentlemanly. 

“They call me a Blue Cowboy in some circles / A cowboy for the clothes I choose to wear / But the blue has a touchy sort of meaning / It describes my heart when you’re not there”

Originally, I thought the blue in “Blue Cowboy” was to signify him being an umpire, although they have switched to black uniforms in recent years. Lucky for us, it wasn’t about being an umpire at all! No, “Blue Cowboy” Joe has a honey somewhere in Texas but this poor man is stuck in NYC calling the Subway Series. Who knew umpires have feelings?

His second album, “Diamond Dreams,” is hardly a musical album and frankly, I’m not sure what West was thinking. I am actually deeply disappointed in myself for supporting such a bogus piece of art by listening to it. This album features none of the hits we have come to know and love from Cowboy Joe. Instead, he seems to have replaced his charming, deep singing with poems and narrations on his time as an umpire. One of the “songs” is titled “Extra Innings” and goes on for over 18 minutes! No wonder MLB decided to put runners on second this year. 

I’ll leave you with this brief poem from our favorite cowboy, Country Joe:

“A smell of fresh cut grass / Covers the vast field / Dissected only by a rough cut diamond of brown dirt / Where diamond dreams on fields of green / Have the young and the old cheer for their teams / And as the summer sun shines golden beams / Down on your fields of green / And diamond dreams”

Just absolutely horrendous. Call me a blue cowboy.

Cover photo courtesy of Nick Wass/AP Photo