The Laughable Race To Last

Sometimes, there is a tremendous amount of excitement in losing.

Building a more robust farm system that will eventually result in a strong core of players sounds like a pretty sweet deal in exchange for not trying. Here, we will talk about which teams are looking to get bashed by the opposition the most as the race to last will officially kick off on April 1.

Colorado Rockies

Quick! Someone shoot out an APB for the St. Louis Cardinals general manager Michael Girsch because this man blatantly robbed the Colorado Rockies of their franchise star, 3B Nolan Arenado.

Trading a superstar for peanuts is hard enough. Replacing him with 3B Ryan McMahon makes it even harder. The hole in his swing for high pitches in the zone is larger than the hole in my bank account after my weekly Amazon splurge. Their bullpen was undoubtedly their looming weakness, sporting a second-worst 6.77 ERA last season. Their only offseason addition that can immediately pitch out of the bullpen is RHP Robert Stephenson, who they traded for from the Cincinnati Reds — an inconsistent and injury-prone pitcher with an ERA of over nine last season.

The only reason to flip your TV to a Rockies game this season would be to watch their superstar shortstop, SS Trevor Story. The 28-year-old has finished in the top 12 of the MVP race for three years in a row. However, a fourth consecutive MVP-caliber season is guaranteed to be extremely difficult.

With Story having little to no protection in this lineup, expect his opposition to pitch around him constantly, minimizing the possibility of him blasting baseballs out of Coors Field.

Pittsburgh Pirates

The Pirates might be in Pittsburgh, but they’ve gone full “trust the process” mode just like their local NBA team, the Philadelphia 76ers, famously did. 

This past offseason, they traded their only three players that mattered to various destinations. Former All-Star 1B Josh Bell was shipped to the Washington Nationals, SP Joe Musgrove was dealt to the New York Mets as a part of a three-team deal and SP Jameson Taillon was traded to the New York Yankees for a haul of four prospects. Pittsburgh doesn’t seem to have their focus on putting a product on the field that can win now. Their interests, rather, lie in the farm system and developing a strong core of players to build around eventually. Their bullpen lacks versatility as well, with their only lefty being LHP Chasen Shreve, who originally signed a minor league deal but will most likely be answering the call to the bullpen for the Pirates. Expect more no-names and minor leaguers to get opportunities to step on the diamond in the black and gold threads as Pittsburgh locks in on the future.

Seattle Mariners

There’s no nice way to put this, so I’ll be blunt. The Seattle Mariners are the current laughing stock of MLB.

Their former president has already exposed the Mariners for holding their MLB-ready prospects in the minors to manipulate their service time. This is guaranteed to pull some Ws out of the win column alone, as the Ms are blatantly failing to put their best possible product on the field. Coming off of one of the worst seasons in their history (the team as a whole batted .226, which actually was the worst in franchise history), the Mariners are actually looking to top that feat. The team’s only legitimate threat in the lineup is 3B Kyle Seager — all the other bats are either unproven or inconsistent. When your leadoff hitter is SS J.P. Crawford, who had an abysmal .674 OPS, you know there is a problem. The Mariners may end up better than expected if they choose to call up potential star prospects. Too bad they won’t, so teams around MLB will still be able to chuckle when they see Seattle on their schedule.

Texas Rangers

When I look at the Texas Rangers, I see endless potential.

Having a new, young, baseball-minded general manager such as former MLB RHP Chris Young can result in a ton of various positives. Especially when he isn’t afraid to pull the trigger on a deal, like when he sent SS Elvis Andrus to Oakland for OF Khris Davis. Additionally, IF Isiah Kiner-Falefa’s play resulted in a smooth transition to shortstop, as he held his own at the plate with a .280 average, three bombs and eight stolen bags. Be on the lookout for a potential resurgence campaign from OF Joey Gallo, as everyone except his opposition would love to see those 500-foot bombs paired with better plate discipline. The Rangers have a loaded farm system that will be even better after they garner themselves a high pick in the draft from the terrible season they are about to play. The team’s current talent is minimal, but this is expected to change shortly with all of their recent aggressive and progressive changes.

Baltimore Orioles

The race to last may be over before it even has a chance to start.

FanGraphs dared to give the Orioles a 0% chance to make the playoffs, which means that no matter what craziness may happen this season — one that has the potential to be thrown entirely off the rails due to the ongoing pandemic — the Orioles statistically still have no chance. Every other team has at least some type of opportunity, but the analysts at FanGraphs woke up ready to crush little Timmy From Baltimore’s dreams when they released this.

Baltimore’s pitching staff is just about as average as it gets. Their starting rotation was a dumpster fire last season; a collective ERA of 5.08 made them one of the worst in the league. Not to mention, making the playoffs becomes extremely hard when you’re paying a billion dollars to a guy who cannot even be a part of your starting lineup (I’m talking to you, 1B Chris Davis). Baltimore has a few seasons worth of rebuilding if getting back to October play is on their minds.

My early prediction to win this race to last would have to be the Baltimore Orioles. Although all of these teams are going into the season hoping to lose the most, they at least have some talent to offer their fans. Meanwhile, Os fans will have almost nothing — and no one — to cheer for.

1B Chris Davis (#19). Cover photo courtesy of Patrick McDermott/Getty Images