Dodger Girl’s Birthday Wishlist

Hi everyone! Dodger Girl is back, and guess what … St. Patrick’s Day isn’t just a(nother) day for frat bros to get drunk and jump off roofs of suburban homes. It’s also my birthday!

To those “Ugh Heather, can you shut up about the damn Dodgers already. We get it, they’re better than the Padres.” people: well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but since it’s my birthday you all have to listen to me and you have to like it. I don’t make the rules.

The Dodgers. Aaaah, the Dodgers. Spring training is in full swing, and I have to say this year’s baseball-related anxiety feels different than it has in years — and panic attacks — past. I’m just so damn happy for all of them, and I feel grateful that the Dodgers are heavy favorites to repeat as world champs. You know what, let’s unpack that for a sec. After all the off-season hubbub that went on with certain other UPS drivers … I mean, teams in the NL West and rumors that the Dodgers (or any other team, for that matter) wouldn’t be spending as much in free agency due to the losses incurred from COVID-19, the Dodgers a) did spend money, b) did get better and c) made it clear that they are not content with just one title. And on that note, can we hush up about the whole “Dodgers pay for their championships” thing? In no other industry would a company or ownership group be scolded for paying its employees. Anyway, you and I both know that most of the Dodgers’ robust talent is homegrown. So stick that in your rolled-up four-leaf clover and smoke it!

Whew, glad I got that out of my system. With that said, I think there is a lot to still be excited for if you’re a fan of the current Hotshots of Hollywood (new name, is it working?), and I have laid out some of my greatest wishes for the Dodgers as the 2021 season approaches. And hey, it is St. Patty’s Day after all — a little blue-tinted luck wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Wish 1: The Dodgers re-sign Clayton Kershaw and Corey Seager

So admittedly, I care a lot more about the Dodgers re-signing Seager than Kersh. That beautiful not-so-short stop is a legitimate MVP contender and, if you can believe it, is technically just entering his prime now. But let’s be real, do we want to see No. 22 in any other uniform? Re-sign both, Dodgers. You have the money to do it, and there are quite a few contracts coming off the books next year (including a certain closer that is now a World Series champion, so … I guess we can’t talk trash about him anymore? Jury’s out on that.)

The chance this wish comes true: I worry about other players like Walker Buehler and Cody Bellinger also needing to get paid eventually, but hell, I don’t see why they can’t pay all four. In terms of Corey and Clayton, I say they get it done. Do they really have a choice?

Wish 2: Trevor Bauer lives up to his contract, and lives down to everything else

Oh boy. What can I say about Bauer that hasn’t already been said on Twitter countless times? The UCLA alum was paid a hefty premium for his ability to spin a baseball, and the fact that he won a Cy Young last year doesn’t hurt either. I know this is territory I should probably avoid after my, um, questionable take on the Mookie Betts signing. But doesn’t this Bauer signing feel completely different? Mookie is a stand-out guy, leader and role model off the field, and his play on the field speaks for itself. Trevor is a guy we all hope can repeat last year’s performance, and his persona off the field can be unsettling, to say the least. Sometimes you love his energy and passion for the game, and other times you remember that he is kind of a Trump guy. I don’t know. Maybe being in LA and leaving Ohio will bring him some perspective there. And hey, you’ve gotta love that he’s doing what MLB is certainly not, by making the game more accessible and exciting for the younger generation of fans. So yeah, another great year out of him (and another stellar postseason performance or two) would be excellent. Off the mound, let’s just cross our fingers.

The chance this wish comes true: I’m optimistic about this one. Bauer is never going to be the most likable guy in the world, but nor am I the most likable girl in the world. And I think something clicked for him on the mound last year that will carry over to 2021. So I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying that LA will grow to love him over the course of this season.

Wish 3: Cody Bellinger comes back better than ever from his shoulder surgery

2017, Rookie Of The Year. 2019, MVP. It’s another odd year, so I don’t think my wish is even necessary here. Yes, he had a down year last year, but we saw in the postseason the impact this heart eyes emoji man can have at the plate and in the outfield even when his shoulder is looser than buttered spaghetti. I think we’re all forgetting how über talented he is because the Dodgers lineup is so deep at literally every position, but when he’s right — which hopefully the surgery allows him to be — then wow. Remember when his batting average was close to .400 after like three months in 2019? That would be nice.

The chance this wish comes true: While I do think Cody will need some time to fully get his feet under him, I think overall he’ll be better than last year and will end the year the offensive and defensive maestro we know he can be. Let’s just avoid those shoulder-dislocating celebrations after big postseason home runs from now on, cool?

Wish 4: Cody Bellinger gives me a birthday shoutout

Since we’re on the subject of Belli, at this point it’s common knowledge that he is my biggest Dodger crush (sorry, Corey). Every year there is always someone in my life who comes out of the depths of the Facebook vortex to give me a birthday shoutout. Yes, Cody and I aren’t Facebook friends, and no, he still doesn’t technically know I exist. But it’s St. Patrick’s Day, a day of luck and gold and rainbows and all that. Here’s to hoping.

The chance this wish comes true: Um, next.

Wish 5: The Dodgers are able to hold that epic 2020 World Series parade we’ve all been waiting for

Does anybody still want that stupid parade as badly as I do? I think a Dodgers / Lakers combo parade would be just about the coolest birthday present of all time, but I’ll take what I can get at this point. Bottom line: the Dodgers didn’t get the celebration they rightfully deserve, and hopefully with the world slowly beginning to open back up, the powers that be can make this a reality. Would it be awkward to see some dearly Dodger departed back in blue? Maybe for a second, but just the thought of seeing that 2020 squad back together for a few hours while the city celebrates makes me yearn even harder for that damn vaccine. When is it my turn again? Oh god, who knows.

The chance this wish comes true: I have to admit, this one makes me nervous. I don’t know when LA will be fully vaccinated, but I’m thinking that it won’t be until at least June. Can a parade happen in the middle of a season? And for the Lakers, it would be a little weird to be celebrating the previous year’s championship after the most recent champion has already been crowned (especially if it isn’t them, and especially if it’s the technically-still-LA Clippers). Let’s file this one under strong maybe, but probably not.

Wish 6: The Dodgers win the World Series in 2021 with a full audience … and Justin Turner on the field

We all knew this one was coming. Call me selfish, but that whole winning and not-crying-in-a-corner-thing felt really nice. This Dodgers iteration is arguably stronger at a few different positions than last year’s, and with a surplus of starters, I expect the bullpen to be full of guys who can get left and right out and can go multiple innings. If you thought last year’s World Series run was the stuff of legends, can you imagine what it would look like with 50,000 screaming fans at Dodger Stadium? And not to rehash old wounds, but Justin Turner not being out on the field last year, while technically proper, sucked. Let’s get him out there jumping up and down when the Boys In Blue go back-to-back. The winning formula is there, they just have to execute. Get X to equal Y, or whatever. I haven’t done math in like two years, so go easy on me.

The chance this wish comes true: I’m feeling good about it. And for me to say that is basically unheard of, as you are all aware. If this is the season they implode after I put out such positive vibes, I’ll be mad. But assuming they won’t, will this be the year we finally get our Dodgers / Yankees World Series rematch? Who cares. Let’s just get that eighth trophy!

So those are my birthday wishes on my 24th St. Patrick’s Day. Party hard, friends! Soak up all that beer with those yummy green sprinkle soft cookies you get from the grocery store! You know what I’m talking about. Have a great day — Go Dodgers!!

Cover photo courtesy of Jon SooHoo/Los Angeles Dodgers